Announcing...

Wed 26 Aug 2020, 9:49 am

It started with a young wizard on a quest of self-discovery...

We see a view of Amethyst opening the box containing the Azure Crystal, with Zander grasping it and placing it around his neck as it releases a glow of cyan-hued light.

Zander's voice: Maybe by adventuring, I can figure out who I truly am...

Then came a violence-abhorring warrior with a hidden potential of his own...

We watch as Alph picks up a tome bound in muted cyan leather, revealing a page marked with a sideways-letter "A", as he rotates it to a 90° angle.

Alph's voice: The more fragments we collect, the less obscured the path before us becomes...

Next, a budding young pilot with the ability to use a rare kind of technique...

We see a view of Sky as he wanders through a dark metal corridor.

Sky's voice: I thought my dream was to become a pilot... but the reality is nothing like I've ever expected...

And, of course, a sea captain who quite literally exists in two worlds...

We see a view of Shelley as she leans on the railing of the Hat Eater, flailing her arms as she falls overboard, with Matey failing to catch her in time, before his eyes suddenly widen.

Shelley's voice: That vixen again... why does she keep stalking me, even in my dreams...?

Now, get ready to meet the newest hero...es...

A view of a figure in a deep indigo hooded robe whose face is near obscured and a buff humanoid whose entire head is concealed by a metal helmet suddenly appears with a deep fart sound. The humanoid speaks with an overly-exaggerated English accent.

Humanoid: Ah... would anyone else care for some cabbage surprise?

Figure: Why you...

Off-screen voice: Sure, I'll take some!

The humanoid switches to a rugged American-sounding voice.

Humanoid: You got it!

We hear another fart sound.

Humanoid: Care for some more?

Figure: Do it one... more... time. I DARE you.

Humanoid: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

We hear a third fart sound.

Humanoid: How wazzat?

Figure: Oh, I'll TELL you how zat waz...

The scene suddenly cuts to black as the sound of a lightning bolt is heard.

Humanoid's voice: OOOOOOO-HOO-HOO-HOOOOOOO!

Tales from the ParoD&Dmension

The scene cuts back to the figure and the humanoid, with a monkey-like creature hanging onto the humanoid's upper torso from their back.

Monkey: Yeek! What happened ta YOU?!

Humanoid: I don't wanna talk about it...

Monkey: Fair enough. Hey, what's that sign say over there...?

Figure: It is nothing.

Monkey: "CABBAGE FRAT HILLS"... hey, weren't you gonna give me some cabbage surprise? Ooh, is THAT the surprise?!

The humanoid shakes their head.

Humanoid: Oh, cr-

The monkey starts writhing around and yelling without letting go.

Monkey: OO-OOO-HOO-HAA-HAA-HAA-HAA-HAA [etc.]

Figure: You bring this on yourself, you realise?

Humanoid: I said I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!

The monkey accidentally whacks the humanoid's helmet with his fist.

Humanoid: YEOW! THAT... didn't hurt...

Monkey: Sorry. So... how long till we get to Cabbage Frat Hills?

The humanoid lets out a loud, slightly gurgled sigh.

COMING SOON!